This is going to sound weird. I have, for the first time in my life, a tomato plant. It's a topsy turvy one, but it was beautiful to watch grow from a small plant to a huge one. I didn't anticipate much, as I don't have a green thumb like my mother. But, I did… Continue reading Removing the Negative
It's amazing how someone you love psychotically can change your views of your "self". It can be in so many different versions of life. Sometimes, verbal abuse, and incredible expectations of what and who and how you should be and look during that time can completely reduce you to a minion. But with the… Continue reading The Thelma to my Louise – My Sister – We Endured And All The Stronger!!
I love poems. I have written many. But this weekend going through some papers I wrote while I was married to the man I can't hate, but feel there was a great deal of healing after I left, this was truly a reason. I wrote this for him to read. I was hoping he would… Continue reading How Can Someone Make You Feel Like Writing This?
Yikes. I know it's Christmas and I should have better thoughts. But to me Christmas hasn't been Christmas for many years. And even more so less when I lost my eldest nephew who was so wonderful and still always so missed and was so the rock that kept us together. I hate to say this,… Continue reading First Borns Genocide
Psychotic love. What does it entail really? Too much love for family, for you children, for your parents. Funny enough Psychotic Love doesn't seem to me to transfer to all of my siblings. I have one sister that you can deny, hurt her, almost kill her, treat her like she is a nobody, but still… Continue reading How can someone who hates me be forgiven?
I have played this conversation with you Mom for years. For approximately 15 years. Since you told me I should have stayed with him. No matter what. Tonight I need purge in words why I have not been able to talk to you, nor speak my speech which will follow. Mom, I can’t talk to… Continue reading Mom, Why Can’t You Hear Me? I love you so much!!
There is a time in your life when you think you should have shunned all the sensitivity from your life. It appears that this is not so. I think that I really resent my mother for not having made me a stronger person and to learn how to not feel the pain of someone being… Continue reading Sensitivity Sucks
I've been divorced for 13 years now to my first love. 13 years and I still have dreams about him. I have dated a couple of times, and one was very special to me. He's still my best friend. Another passed away. But I don't dream about them at all. I only dream about my… Continue reading When do the dreams end?
I write here about spychotic love and the different levels of psychotic love. One can be food too. My mom was a great cook. She also wanted to make sure we were respectful enough to finish everything on our plate when we were young. She's not like that anymore... much. But an interesting thought. I… Continue reading Love and Wonders of Psychotic Love with Food