Blogs

I Miss Me More

I just love this song, and I think everyone who has been in one of “those” relationships should listen to it!! I can’t say I didn’t miss him when I first left him, but I CAN tell you that after some time I did realise, that as much as I had missed him, I missed […]

Glad I didn’t Know

I remember the first time he fell deep in love with someone else.  It was weird.  I had a 2, 4 and 8 year old… Lots of songs went through my head.  I will share a few.  But this one I love so much.  Possibly because 15 years after my divorce, and after our 10th […]

Affairs… Apparently can be healed. Can it if it was the Sister?

Wish I had heard this years ago… LOL   She is brillliant in hitting the points of affairs.  And too how to resolve if you REALLY want to and how some see divorce as a way out to freedom.  All felt, but fought, but this is just as true!  Some things are not dealt with… including […]

Removing the Negative

This is going to sound weird.  I have, for the first time in my life, a tomato plant.  It’s a topsy turvy one, but it was beautiful to watch grow from a small plant to a huge one.  I didn’t anticipate much, as I don’t have a green thumb like my mother.  But, I did […]

Peter Pan and honesty

The most part of releasing yourself of the whole psychotic love issue is to meet someone real.  Someone who is not going to judge you.  Someone you can find that fits proper in your life.  Now this is intesting. MY PETER PAN ME SYNDROME THAT I LOVE AFTER THE MONEY FOCUS MAN 🙂 Two years […]

How Can Someone Make You Feel Like Writing This?

I love poems.  I have written many.  But this weekend going through some papers I wrote while I was married to the man I can’t hate, but feel there was a great deal of healing after I left, this was truly a reason. I wrote this for him to read.  I was hoping he would […]

First Borns Genocide

Yikes.  I know it’s Christmas and I should have better thoughts.  But to me Christmas hasn’t been Christmas for many years.  And even more so less when I lost my eldest nephew who was so wonderful and still always so missed and was so the rock that kept us together. I hate to say this, […]

How can someone who hates me be forgiven?

Psychotic love.  What does it entail really?  Too much love for family, for you children, for your parents.  Funny enough Psychotic Love doesn’t seem to me to transfer to all of my siblings.  I have one sister that you can deny, hurt her, almost kill her, treat her like she is a nobody, but still […]

Mom, Why Can’t You Hear Me? I love you so much!!

I have played this conversation with you Mom for years. For approximately 15 years. Since you told me I should have stayed with him. No matter what. Tonight I need purge in words why I have not been able to talk to you, nor speak my speech which will follow. Mom, I can’t talk to […]

Sensitivity Sucks

There is a time in your life when you think you should have shunned all the sensitivity from your life.  It appears that this is not so.  I think that I really resent my mother for not having made me a stronger person and to learn how to not feel the pain of someone being […]

When do the dreams end?

I’ve been divorced for 13 years now to my first love.  13 years and I still have dreams about him.  I have dated a couple of times, and one was very special to me.  He’s still my best friend.  Another passed away.  But I don’t dream about them at all.  I only dream about my […]

Love and Wonders of Psychotic Love with Food

I write here about spychotic love and the different levels of psychotic love.  One can be food too.  My mom was a great cook.  She also wanted to make sure we were respectful enough to finish everything on our plate when we were young.  She’s not like that anymore… much.  But an interesting thought.  I […]

Another Home Within A Home

So people tell me I’m too nice.  That’s all okay.  I would rather be that then too mean? Too self involved? Too untrusting? Too unloving? Seriously? What is wrong with being too nice.  There are adjustments to make if you choose to remain so in a life that is not so nice, but really, what […]

I found home!

So being away for so long in some people’s minds, they asked me to come home.  I didn’t know quite where that was, but I figured my children were asking me to come back closer. So I did. It was a tough journey because I had found a place I called my home.  They were […]

Finding Home

  I wrote about the last post regarding not knowing where home is.  So with this song I moved and left all my family and ran a business. I have to admit it was so exciting moving to what I THOUGHT was my new home.  I bought a business and was “moving away from” the […]