First Borns Genocide

Yikes.  I know it's Christmas and I should have better thoughts.  But to me Christmas hasn't been Christmas for many years.  And even more so less when I lost my eldest nephew who was so wonderful and still always so missed and was so the rock that kept us together. I hate to say this, … Continue reading First Borns Genocide

How can someone who hates me be forgiven?

Psychotic love.  What does it entail really?  Too much love for family, for you children, for your parents.  Funny enough Psychotic Love doesn't seem to me to transfer to all of my siblings.  I have one sister that you can deny, hurt her, almost kill her, treat her like she is a nobody, but still … Continue reading How can someone who hates me be forgiven?

Mom, Why Can’t You Hear Me? I love you so much!!

I have played this conversation with you Mom for years. For approximately 15 years. Since you told me I should have stayed with him. No matter what. Tonight I need purge in words why I have not been able to talk to you, nor speak my speech which will follow. Mom, I can’t talk to … Continue reading Mom, Why Can’t You Hear Me? I love you so much!!

When do the dreams end?

I've been divorced for 13 years now to my first love.  13 years and I still have dreams about him.  I have dated a couple of times, and one was very special to me.  He's still my best friend.  Another passed away.  But I don't dream about them at all.  I only dream about my … Continue reading When do the dreams end?

Love and Wonders of Psychotic Love with Food

I write here about spychotic love and the different levels of psychotic love.  One can be food too.  My mom was a great cook.  She also wanted to make sure we were respectful enough to finish everything on our plate when we were young.  She's not like that anymore... much.  But an interesting thought.  I … Continue reading Love and Wonders of Psychotic Love with Food

Another Home Within A Home

So people tell me I'm too nice.  That's all okay.  I would rather be that then too mean? Too self involved? Too untrusting? Too unloving? Seriously? What is wrong with being too nice.  There are adjustments to make if you choose to remain so in a life that is not so nice, but really, what … Continue reading Another Home Within A Home

Finding Home

  I wrote about the last post regarding not knowing where home is.  So with this song I moved and left all my family and ran a business. I have to admit it was so exciting moving to what I THOUGHT was my new home.  I bought a business and was "moving away from" the … Continue reading Finding Home

I’m Going Home

I felt alianeted when my last child left me to be with my ex husband.  I don't blame her, but it was then time for me to find another home.  The problem is that I never really had a "home"... I moved so many times that I don't know that I will ever find that … Continue reading I’m Going Home